‘The Journey of I & I’
Survivors of childhood sexual abuse experience conflicting feelings about the child they were at the time of the abuse.
Adult survivors might still feel enraged at the child they were back then for not fighting back, not running away or for not having the courage to tell somebody.
Acknowledging that you are the adult version of this child who experienced the abuse can be scary. After all, you did go through the abuse and you survived.
Healing that inner child can be very scary and overwhelmingly intimidating. It is intense work. You have to first get yourself into a good place in order to commence your healing.
Children are naturally trusting and the majority of abused children are abused by those they should be able to trust the most.
As an abused child the fear is magnified as you eventually begin to believe that you really do not have a voice, for whatever reasons the abuser has instilled in you: verbal or physical threats, being told nobody will believe you, the child, being told if you tell, the dire consequences will be all your own fault.
Writing about your past experiences can be a huge part of your healing progress.
Revisiting those dark and painful times will be difficult but if healing is your goal, it’s a vital and necessary process to walk through.
Fearful silence is the abuser’s main weapon of non-detection or discovery and their cloak of non-responsibility for their heinous and criminal actions.
Breaking that silence – for the child now an adult – is a way of regaining back that lost control of their life in order to grow and become the person they were meant to be before the abuse – because, without a doubt, being abused changes who you are.